Monday, February 23, 2015

"How is it going?"

We've been on the roller coaster ride of big family changes with our two new littles moving into our home the end of January (almost exactly a month ago) but having moved into our heart weeks before that. Ever since the transition began, I've heard the question "How's it going?" (or its sister question "How is EVERYTHING going?") so many times.  The questions don't bother me in the least.  I know so many who care about us just want to know how the transition going - family, friends, neighbors, etc - but I struggle to know how to answer.

Pretty Good.
This is my default answer because it is both true and easy.  In reality there are so many parts of the transition that have been so smooth.  The three kiddos get along well considering they only met a few weeks before Christmas and now are sharing toys/house/PARENTS.  A lot of other logistics fell into place as well (both of our new littles have great preschool classes and teachers that they love).  We have also been incredibly blessed by family and friends.  For example, I open my freezer and see LOVE in the form of frozen meals to feed my family.

Good but... 
To family and fellow parents, sometimes its easier if I answer with the immediate hard that others can relate to.  Which child has a cold or is having trouble sleeping or struggles getting everyone out the door for school in the morning or whatever...  Know that while my concern may seem so very normal, there are worries underneath that run much deeper.

(On a related note: I had not considered the impact on our immune systems adding two new family members that each interact with a different preschool class.  Prayers for some time of good health would be greatly appreciated).

HARD but Good
A bit more honest but when someone asks for an example of the hard, I'm unsure what and how much to share.  There is so much of the day-to-day hard that may seem like normal kid stuff - not sleeping great, tantrums, siblings not getting along, or just frustration - yet this adoption transition adds a whole layer on top of it all.  Is each child feeling secure in our love for them and their place in the family?  Are we providing enough structure yet being flexible enough to nurture and build family connections?  Is this tantrum just hunger/tired related or a deeper worry that we need to be sensitive to?  So often I feel like we need to be 110% on this parenting gig all the time right now (which is hard to do if we are short on sleep -- see above).  Even just a night out of town can throw everything off for days.

We really and truly are so incredibly blessed.  Our home is filled with more laughter, happy noise, busy kiddos, and smiling faces around the table.  There are more hugs, silly songs, pretend picnics, and crazy super hero fun.  Our entryway is always full of coats, shoes and boots that remind us of going places now as a family of five.  We've prayed years for this hard and wonderful journey we are walking right now.  God in His infinite wisdom brought these kids to our family and our family to these kids for a purpose.  We are so glad we are not on this journey alone!

Thank you to everyone has been praying for us, reaching out via text and email, sending encouraging notes and those local friends that have supported us from your kitchens as well.  (Seriously the frozen meals have been amazing and somehow they've continued to show up.  For the first week, I had tears in my eyes each time I opened my freezer - because LOVE).  Thank you for being patient with us as we've stepped back from commitments, completely forgot to respond to emails, missed a few family events or had to say no to things as we focus on home for now.  We are blessed but change, even good change is hard.  Here is one of the fun changes on the back of our bathroom door:

Now there are 3 kids' towels: Ninja Turtle, Purple Owl and Batman

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for writing this and giving me a glimpse into the Dowdey 5! Continuing to hold you up in prayer and thoughts.


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